So around the holidays I usually boycott christmas carols at any and all cost. This year, due largely to apathy, I decided to give them a chance again and see if I could figure out why the hell they have managed to stick around for so long. Well the obvious answer are the uber-memorable melodies. Take Jingle Bells for example. It’s a nice, simple, creative melody in a range that damn near anyone can sing. It starts with a signature interval leap, than a descending pattern over a major scale. It employs genius repetition not unlike that used in the Paul McCartney’s amazing Eleanor Rigby. Well, maybe in an inversion. Simply take that great phrase move it up a few tones and repeat. Who could possibly forget that? So that WOULD explain the ridiculous longevity of some christmas carols. I would like to suggest, rather, that it is the inclusion of lyrics that are so beyond ridiculous that they are actually intoxicating. My favorite for bizarre christmas lyrics is Jingle Bell Rock. I have made my new official holiday salutation “Giddy Up Jingle Horse!” And I guess that is something someone would actually say. That is if they were to actually be riding in a “one horse slay.” There are so many great christmas lyrics though that I encourage you to take a close look at your favorite carols. You may well stumble on classics like “rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums” or “all the kids in boy and girl land will have a jubliee.” Yeah, sure that’s what they’re gonna do . . . So grab your self some corn for popping and crank up a couple slaying songs. You never know what kind of jibberish you’re gonna hear.